Chris Turner (19.10.2017 06:19)
Nice and cosy place, cocktail list is great if you don't know what you're after.
Humble Hospitality (20.08.2017 23:52)
Imagine being turned down by your crush, only to find out her older less attractive sister is into you. Or imagine that with 5 minutes left in play in the 2015 Rugby World Cup, Richie Mccaw is suddenly and inexplicably taken off the field, to be replaced with a balding, pot-bellied, stay at home dad with a Harley Davidson and fond memories of playing in the Wellington College 3rd XV. These feeling were akin to my experience on a Saturday night, where after being refused entry to the Library on Courtney, I was forcefully taken behind an alleyway and brought to "The Motel Bar"
The Motel is situated down the very dark, isolated and secretive Forresters Lane. Assured that
a) I wasn't abut to be murdered and thrown into a dumpster and...
b) The seedy paraphenalia did not in fact mark the entrance to a brothel
I tentatively walked into the bar, a little bit dismayed however that the tacky "Hooker" theme outside ended at the door and was bizarrely replaced with a Pacific Islands decor. The entire venue was covered in tribal carvings and tiki torches. Whilst the staff themselves had resisted efforts to see them in Hawaiian skirts and Fijan Sulu, the dramatic change from the gimmick outside was apparent. At this point I was just thankful that it was not my overtly racist grandparents who were with me at this point and that I could internalise my white guilt without fear of a xenophobic comment ricocheting off the walls of the place, like a little bouncy ball of hate.
Like lambs in a slaughterhouse, my group was herded into a dark, candle-lit room, where our proximity to complete strangers can be best likened to an uncomfortable aeroplane seating plan. With no choice but to slide up against an unknown bearded Auckland man, I tried my best not to laugh too hard at his jokes and pray he didn't think I was playing footsie with him as our feet brushed against each other like a paintbrush on canvas.
The range of drinks was expected and the low price of a Daquiri cocktail was a pleasantly welcome surprise. With a couple of Rum and Cokes and a sortie of other drinks under my belt. It would be a lie to say I didn't enjoy myself at the Motel, however the waiting time for drinks makes Tranzmetro, New Zealand look efficient and in the case of one particular front of house staff ; I have met half a dozen Crackheads who were far more polite. (Must be still stuck in the hooker phase of the bar.) Then again her overbearing sass and slightly bored tone only further made my evening more enjoyable.
Drinks were great
Staff were great
The Auckland man was the best I'd ever had
So undoubtedly next time the Library's closed or won't have me. The Motel will be my second choice once again
6/10
Stay Hungry
Stay Humble.
Humble Hospitality Wellington.
Adam Jones (09.07.2017 13:38)
Terrible. The childlike doorman (a Harry Potter lookalike) insisted that the place was too busy to allow people in and we would have to wait outside. We waited 5 minutes. Three young females came over to him after we were told to wait. They were hugging him and generally boosting his low self esteem and he let them in straight away! I pointed out to him that we were told to wait as it was too busy, and he came up with some BS story about there being too many blokes in the bar. All of a sudden we were let in. What an idiot! Inside the bar it was equally unimpressive. A pretentious and pokey cocktail bar with hardly any beer. Mind you on the plus side you may get to see Harry Potter and your level of happiness will go through the roof when you leave!
Hayden Barker (28.03.2017 12:43)
Not quite what it used to be.. was better when it was the classy cocktail lounge, it's a bit more like any other bar now.
Dominick Coppinger (05.03.2017 13:40)
A great place to go and get some cocktails. 2 4 1 on Wednesdays and great staff in his awesome tiki themed bar! Not to be missed out on!
